soak up the sun

feb 3 - 2007

Just wanted to add my two cents (more like 2 dollars) to a comment i heard recently about looking forward to being 28 years old. I certainly struck a chord with me as i can remember looking forward to being 28 and for years i have been making a mental note of my wants but never writing them down. so here i write and ponder. Doesn't it seem we always yearn for the future and it's promises and not fully enjoy the here and now?I remember being a teenager and saying i was never getting married, never having kids, and wasn't going to be my mother, who waited hand and foot on our father and us 4 girls. I could hardly wait until i was 18. When i was 18 I would be on my own with a job and money and my own place. When the time came, it wasn't exactly so. I was living in residence at the university of winnipeg, going to classes and working at mcdonalds. I could hardly wait til i turned 28.when i turned 28 i would have a career and maybe a hubby and 2.2 kids, 2 cars, a dog and a house with a white picket fence. after all, wasn't that what all women wanted. when i turned 28, that wasn't exactly true. i did have the hubby and 2 kids. there was no career but a job that changed every 4 years when ever we moved (i was a military wife) a cat and a rented house. I could hardly wait til i was 38.When i was 38 i would have it all. and once again, i almost did. just a few years off target. I went back to college to get the career and we would be moving once again. this time to edmonton, and soon we had a house in the park with the grey 6 foot fence and a dog that arrived soon there after. And so did the divorce. and the selling of the house. the moving of the kids and the changing jobs for my career - and all i was left with was the dog, who has since gone to heaven from cancer.After having it all and losing it all, I picked myself up and dusted myself off and started all over again. for I have bought my own 1/2 duplex with a chain link fence, my own car, a new dog, a promotion and even one child has moved back home, and i don't even want to think about turning 48.That's two years away and i want to enjoy the now. Enjoy the freedom of independance and the pride of accomplishments and be grateful for every little thing life has to offer. Sheryl Crow's song "Soak up the Sun." says it perfectly. "It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got".ironically, by 48 i will have come full circle and will have a new hubby, with FIVE children, a grandchild, two houses, several cars (not to mention hot tub and above ground pool) and a dog on a farm with no fences. NO FENCES!! but that is another story in itself.